Are you a perfect mother?

Are you a perfect mother? It is one of those questions that mothers often come across. It usually happens during a conversation with anyone giving us an advice or showing themselves the perfect one. We get a piece of advice at every nook and corner. A list of Dos and Don’ts is enough to make us think either we are wrong or we don’t know mothering at all. Every mother tries to portray herself as the best when talking to another mother. That instills self-doubt in most cases, and we often question ourselves. Am I a perfect mother? The answer Yes/ No buzzes the ear but still leaves us in utter confusion.

Can we be perfect?

There are several possibilities based on different scenarios; still, perfection is out of reach for most of us. We often live in a dilemma of being the best and worse but what we often forget is we are what lies between the best and the worse. The tug of war continues, but to this most complicated question, please answer a simple question, Are you a perfect human being? The answer will be No. We might be perfect in one aspect, but we can’t be in all. Perfection is a myth. Being a mother is simply a role we are put into by choice or chance. Motherhood is a beautiful journey.

When trying to think, we often neglect others’ situations. Some toxic mothers believe them to be the best and ideal. Reality is contrary to their belief. A mother cannot be insensitive to another mother’s situation. To represent themselves as the greatest, they often criticize the other. My child, my upbringing is often used with superlatives. It brings pride to the boastful mother. Her ego is very well satisfied, whereas it ingrains self-doubt in the other mother.

What we can do?

As aware mothers, we need to understand the difference between genuine interest and humiliation. If the conversation is humiliating, turn deaf. “My decisions and upbringings were better than yours,” these are very insensitive words. A kid is not a piece of fabric where you can compare my cloth is better than yours. A non-living entity cannot replace a living one.

Life needs guidance that a mother can give, but she can’t paint a child’s entire personality like painting a canvass. There can be circumstances when you are all engrossed in thinking, am I raising my child well. Think only about giving your best. To err is human. Accept!! Please, let the children carry their own identity, guide, nurture, and care for them well. In this long run of being a mother for life, don’t forget yourself.

Can we trust our instincts?

Perfect/ Imperfect are heavy words. You have to give your best and help your child out. Raise the way you want. Don’t worry about what others have to say. There are different kinds of moms but don’t forget all are moms. They all give the same protection to their child in spite of all odds. In the world of showoffs, several questions will hit you. The answer to all the questions will be you are like yourself, and nobody is you. You and only you have the best relationship with your child.

In an era of social media where curated tailored words and pictures surface everywhere on the internet for popularity, it becomes hard to rely on the things we see. Motherhood comes with twists and turns. Have self-confidence. Trust your instincts. Love yourself, love your child. A piece of advice will knock you at every corner. Listen to all, pick the best but don’t follow blindly. In the race of perfectionism, don’t lose your joy of being a mother. Enjoy your role. None can do your role so well as you do and will do. Never doubt your mothering. Remember, only you can make the best decision about your children. You know their strength or weakness.

Are you a perfect mother? You are the best mother, and as we know perfection is a myth. Forget about it, and live happily.